This is for keeps.

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
youngbloodbuzz

speedykryptoniteshark asked:

Are you for real.

If yes , why don't you get this account verified

neil-gaiman answered:

Are you looking for some kind of blue check mark that Tumblr doesn’t have? Or would you like some other kind of verification symbol that Tumblr doesn’t have. Let me know which kind of verification method that Tumblr doesn’t have you’re hoping to see, and I’ll explain to you why I don’t have the particular kind of verification that Tumblr doesn’t have that you’re looking for.

r4cs0

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rattle-my-stars

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fuckyeahsnackables
prokopetz

So we were talking about Muppet adaptations of classic literary works; somebody jokingly suggested Neil Gaiman’s Sandman on the grounds that due to the World Fantasy Award fiasco it technically qualifies as literature, and I just can’t get the idea out of my head. If they follow the pattern of previous Muppet adaptations, they’d be obliged to put Kermit the Frog in some prominent role, and every conceivable option is objectively hilarious.

siliquasquama

Stated in a reply but I wanted to elaborate here – I like the idea of Kermit as Morpheus. Think about it: He’s a busy showrunner who’s trying to put on a good performance for people, while the rest of his cast and crew are goofballs if not whole morons, and sometimes he’s just as silly as they are. Sandman’s realm is kind of like the Muppet Show except with less humor and more melancholy soul-searching. Kermit would be a great Morpheus. And Miss Piggy could play the role of jilted lover as she often does, because Morpheus always has one of those too.

And you could have Statler and Waldorf as Cain and Abel.

prokopetz

Statler and Waldorf as Cain and Abel

That’s horrifying.

I think I love it.

magpiemalarkey

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I’ve been stuck with Kermit’s voice saying this in my head all day thanks to these posts.

neil-gaiman

Perfect.

ryttu3k

#The interactions between Mr. Gaiman and the more unhinged corners of his fandom are delightful #I do not think a Lesser Weirdo could survive here

cheeseanonioncrisps
head1968

whenever one of my more popular mutuals reblogs a post of mine and then it immediately starts getting notes I feel like I’m a poor victorian street urchin singing a sad little song on the street with my patched up old cap upturned on the ground just hoping for passerbys to drop tuppence into it and a wealthy older gentleman with a cane and a top hat has just stopped to listen to me for a few minutes whilst thoughtfully puffing on his pipe and stroking his beard and then after I finish my song he ruffles my hair and tells me I’ve done good and drops a ten pound note into my cap and I exclaim with disbelief and delight and say are you quite sure sir why that’s enough to keep my family fed for a week or more and we’ve had naught but boiled water for tea and supper ever since mama passed on of consumption and papa lost his job at the factory he just smiles quietly dons his top hat and winks mysteriously at me and then continues on his way while I run to the market as fast as I can to buy potatoes and bread

cheeseanonioncrisps
gretchensinister

Consider this (based on a conversation I had with some friends a while ago): Pride and Prejudice and Zombies for people who actually like Pride and Prejudice.

Look–I tried to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and I got about 20 pages in before I came to the conclusion that the person who wrote it did so out of the belief that the original Pride and Prejudice was stuffy and boring. There were out of character vulgar puns. And the trailer for the movie did not convince me that I had missed anything by cutting short my reading experience.

So, what I’m talking about here is this premise: the world of Pride and Prejudice, but if you die, it’s highly likely, almost certain that your corpse will get up and try to eat people.

But no one dies in Pride and Prejudice, you might say. In fact, few or no people die in any Jane Austen novel.

This is true. But people do get sick with some regularity. Imagine the tension added to Jane getting sick after going to visit Bingley if there was the chance that she would become a zombie after she died. Becoming a zombie in an eligible bachelor’s house probably would have seriously wrecked any chances of any of the living sisters ending up with him.

Imagine Mr. Collins, as a minister, having the duty upon someone’s death of severing their head with a ceremonial plate or something that would prevent the corpse from rising. Obviously important, but this only makes him more self-important and obnoxious.

And dangerous.

For you see, in this version, Mr. Bennett, who stays in his office all the time, whose life is the only thing allowing Mrs. Bennett and her daughters to stay in the house–Mr. Bennett is definitely a zombie. He died at home, and Mrs. Bennett decided that, no way were they dealing with this, and so…just started faking it. Jane and Elizabeth know. The younger sisters don’t.

In this universe, I think we have to go with zombies that are not any faster or stronger than the humans they were, and in fact tend to get weaker as time passes because their flesh is rotting. And…hmm, okay, how about they are pretty violent upon rising, and for about a week afterward, trying to bite people and spread the infection (even though most people are carriers anyway, but getting a nasty bite from a corpse will give you other stuff that will have you die while carrying the virus). But then they calm down and basically just start sort of attempting to act like they did in life, that is, taking habitual actions with no consciousness, in a depressing and desiccated way.

So Mr. Bennett is a zombie, and Mrs. Bennett’s number one goal is to get her daughters married before anyone finds that out. And this, actually, makes Elizabeth’s refusal of Mr. Collins more frustrating for Mrs. Bennett–obviously Mr. Bennett didn’t tell Elizabeth that she could refuse Mr. Collins, because Mr. Bennett is dead, but Mrs. Bennett can’t say anything or the game would be up.

Another question in this version–does Mr. Darcy find out about Mr. Bennett being a zombie somehow? Does Elizabeth find out that he knows and didn’t say anything and this is something that helps repair his earlier actions?

Anyway, this is the Pride and Prejudice and Zombies that I was looking for.

exigencelost

Okay also: in the original, when Elizabeth walks through the rain all the way to bingley’s to care for Jane while she’s sick, it’s a very dramatic expression of both Elizabeth’s love for her sister and her penchant for flamboyant rebellion, but consider, if there is a chance Jane will wake up a zombie and Elizabeth knows it, how does that change the dynamic? Elizabeth might be going to help take care of Jane, or to *take care* of Jane should things take a more morbid turn…by killing her zombie sister.

This works especially well if zombieism is communicable prior to death; if mr. Bennett is a zombie and only the elder Bennetts know, that means Jane has been pre-exposed and is almost certain to wake up as a zombie should she die in the Bingleys’ care— which the Bingleys do not know. Elizabeth has to forge through the rain to be there in case things get ugly, because she knows that the Bingleys aren’t prepared.

pretentioussongtitle

Yeah you know what? I am 100% for this. A few additions:

*Mr. Collins self-importantly bragging to everyone that he is the one personally responsible for decapitating  Lady Catherine de Bourgh  should she fall victim to the devil’s touch and become a zombie, and that she specifically ordered her head to be burned in the grand fireplace at Rosings. 


*The ambiguity as to whether or not Catherine’s pale, sickly daughter is in fact a zombie herself, but Mr. Darcy is expected to marry her anyway for the sake of family and keeping up appearances. 


*Wickham is a necrophiliac, ‘nuff said

rhube

This is so much better than Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which honestly just felt really lazy to me.

terulakimban

Lydia’s vivacity is encouraged by Mrs. Bennett in part because being having an outgoing, cheerful, lively child who socializes with a lot of people all the time helps counter the rumors about Mr. Bennett. Obviously she wouldn’t be so happy and flirtatious if her father were dead; he’s just always been a bit reclusive and Odd. Kitty is encouraged to follow her example in this for the same reason.

Mary is prone to sermonizing about zombiism and what one should or would do in the event of one’s own family members falling victim to it. 

wisteria-lodge

They *have* to pretend that Mr. Bennett is still alive. If they don’t, they lose the hose and Mr. Collins gets everything. Zombies fit perfectly in with the themes Jane Austen was interested in examining: putting on a good face at all costs, the problem of idle aristocrats… it works really well. 

Also, Lady Catherine’s daughter is DEFINITELY a zombie. I can’t decide if it’s better if A) Lady C is in complete denial about this, but she’s so high ranking that no one says a Damn Thing. or B) Lady C absolutely knows her daughter is a zombie… and STILL thinks she’s better than Lizzie.

morethanthedark

To your last point, why not both? She knows, but has dug herself so deeply into denial that we can watch her flawless deflections with only rapt awe and horror, but her bigotry and social standing support her claims that even posthumously her daughter is better than Lizzie.

Additionally! What a snub!